Harry Potter RANDOMNLY meets Lord Of The Rings!
by Rayn
Summary: So far posted
1. There Be Strangers and Really Tall Ugly

Chapter 1  
  
There Be Strangers and Really Tall Ugly Guys Afoot.  
  
"Harry I'm scared" Hermione whimpered "Hold my hand!"  
  
"Alright, alright," Harry said as he willingly grabbed her hand  
  
"That's not my hand THATS NOT MY HAND!!" Hermione screamed flapping her hands around like a loose hose.  
  
***  
  
Authors Note:  
  
Oh! Hi there. Okay, so your probably wondering what the heck is going on yes? Just nod and smile hun. Alright, well anyways, Hermione, Harry, Ron and other people (as you will find out) from Harry Potter are wondering through random woods when :o They end up some place that is in Lord Of The Rings!!! Okay...that should be good for now. I will continue  
  
***  
  
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Harry apologized  
  
"Hitting on my girl are you?" Ron yelled in anger as he leaped onto Harry's back and started hitting him. Noticing that this seemed to be failing he decided to go with an easier method and just kicked Harry's Shins and waited till he fell on the ground to start pulling his hair.  
  
"I'm not your girl!" Hermione insisted sternly before she watched Ron and Harry roll on the ground like idiots with pleasure.  
  
And of course, Dumbledore simply stepped over the two and walked on as Hermione found herself on the ground finding this all quite amusing.  
  
"Fools!" an anonymous (not to mention quite disturbingly ugly (ya know the kind that look like a chicken who was just strangled or soemthing and then...ahem...) man grabbed Ron and Harry pulling them to their feet.   
  
"Kick him behind the knee! Not the shins!!!" he insisted "Now start over"  
  
Hermione who had finally recovered from her fits of laughter butted in "Who are you" she said messing up her face, trying not to scream at the hideous man. But he noticed  
  
"I'm so sorry!" he apologized as he grabbed a mask and put it on so he looked like a normal old...ooooolld old old man. "My namith is Gandalf!  
  
By now Dumbledore had come back realizing that if they killed each other he would be held responsible, and noticed the old Gandalf talking to them.  
  
"Agh!!!" Dumbledore cried hitting Gandalf on the head with a stick like an Old lady hitting a burglar with a cane.  
  
"ow ow ow ow ow" Gandalf repeated  
  
Harry, Hermione, and Ron stood there lifeless staring at the homicidal act. Then without consent started laughing when...  
  
All of a sudden...TWO SMALL OBJECTS LUNGED FOR DUMBLEDORE!!! (ahhhh!)  
  
***  
  
Authors Note:  
  
Who could it be? Read review and find out!!...well, I'm gonna add more in just a second anyways but I wanted to add what I had for now just so u could get a test. 


	2. An Unfare BUT AMUSING! Fight

Previously on: The gang meets Lord Of The Rings, Dumbledore was carleleslly beating Gandalf with a stick when all of a sudden two small figures jumped him. WHO COULD IT BE!! Read next and FIND OUT!!!]  
  
****  
  
Chapter 2:  
  
An Unfare (but amusing!) Fight.  
  
Holy Cricket!" Hermione cried "Dumbledore is being attacked by two small figures!!"....  
  
Te trio looked at each other for a moment as if crafting a plan together in their minds.  
  
"Ive got the popcorn!" Ron said suddenly  
  
"I've got the drinks!" Harry added passing out the butterbears and sitting on the mysterious couch that came out of nowhere with the others.  
  
"Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!" Dumbledore cried as he ran in circles as the two small figures hit him on the head with their tiny fists as he did to Gandalf.  
  
"Beat up our slave will you?" a small voice said with and Irish accent.  
  
"Oi.." Ron added in the corner of his mouth "This could make a good movie"  
  
"hm" Harry and Hermione nodded as they continued to watch and occasionally point and laugh.  
  
An hour or so later Gandalf got bored watching this so he finally came forward and picked them up off of Dumbledore.  
  
"That's enough now!" he spoke calmly.  
  
"Thank you" Dumbledore said defiantly, wiping his coat with what little dignity he had (which was really nothing seeing as he had none to begin with)  
  
"There's only one way to resolve this..." Gandalf continued. "Thumb war"  
  
Harry, Hermione, and Ron froze.   
  
"Dumbledore No!! You can't" Hermione screamed not leaving the couch.  
  
Dumbledore looked over at Hermione. "Don't worry Hermione" he spoke softly as to calm Hermione "Alright Gandy the Candy..." he sneered "Bring it on!!!"  
  
****  
  
Oh no! Thumb war? ANYTHING BUT THAT!! What will happen next? Find out in...the next posting! P.S: Sorry it's so short!! 


	3. The Great Thumb War!

****  
  
Chapter 4  
  
The Great Thumb War (hey, that rhymes!)  
  
Hermione, Ron and Harry held hands tightly.  
  
"What if DD breaks his THUMB?!" Hermione cried "Then his thumb will be broken!" and at this she broke into tears  
  
(Authors Note: Dumbledore is now called DD cuz i'm sick of typing Dumbledore.)  
  
DD and Gandalf walked in circles never leaving each other's eyes. Gandalf raised his fist high as if about to pound something then punched forward with a thumbs up. DD simply waved his hand in a circle, then brought up a fist and pounded another thumbs up...right hand against right hand (this could be good).  
  
"One" Gandalf growled darringly  
  
"Two" DD continued still not leaving eyes  
  
"three"  
  
"FOUR!!"  
  
"I DECLARE A THUMB WAR" they both screamed as their hands charged for each other. Their hand's were now clawed within each other, nails digging into one another's skin. Thumbs straight up trying to luure each other to go down...but the real question was: Who's thumb is stronger?!  
  
Hermione continued to sob and occasionally let out a little "oooh" in worry. The trio continued to watch, sweat dripping down their necks from the intensity. It was   
  
JUST  
  
TOO  
  
MUCH!  
  
Water was dripping down DD's forhead now, slowly, sliding, slithering down his pail wrinkled face. His nose scrunched up like a gargoyle, his lips at a growl, teeth clenched, arms bent. Gandalf in no better a state was also sweating, cloak damp with hairy sweat. (ewww I can't beleive i wrote that!)Eyes now focused on the sweaty palms, the thumbs who could barely hold on.  
  
"Wait a minute" Ron suddenly remarked, coming to his first intelligent realization. "What are we trying to resolve?"  
  
Everyone stopped and looked at Ron realizing they had no clue. But Gandalf with his quick wit took advantage of the interruption and slammed DD's thumb under his.  
  
"ONE TWO THREE FOUR FIVE! I WIN!!!"  
  
Gandalf jumped into a victory dance  
  
"Oh, I WIN! I win! I win, I win, I win. WINNER!" he said pointing to himself "LOSER" he screamed pointing to DD "LoOoHooHooHOoSERRRRRR!" He did the chicken dance a couple time then break danced around on his head a little more as DD crawled on the wet, cold dirt screaming "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"  
  
Having nothing better to do the Trio joined DD in screaming "NOOOOOOOO" until finally the two small figures finally spoke up.  
  
"WAIT!!!" the one with brown curly hair cried as he wobbled over in front of them "What ARE we trying to resolve?"  
  
"WAIIT!" Hermione repeated "Firstly, who Are YOU?"  
  
********  
  
Who are the two mysterious figures? What is Gandalf and DD trying to resolve? Find out in a couple of minutes on the next posting of  
  
THE GANG MEET LORD OF THE RINGS!!!  
  
PS: I just realized that that's chapter 3, but 4 rhymes with war so...hey! Think about it: Which one's cooler: Logic, or RhYmEs?!?!  
  
yeah....I thought so.  
  
By the way: I'm not adding until I get 3 reviews or something. What's the point in adding more if no one is reading it right? Yes! 


	4. Chapter 5 but kinda 4

The Real Chapter 4!  
  
umm....chapter five.  
  
"Oi" the thinnest noted "That's a just question aye? My humblest apologies for not answering ye mate'!"   
  
"So sorry! How rude of we..."  
  
We?" the thin one interrupted longly. The fat guy simply glanced at him and continued  
  
Me name's Merry, and that ri' there woo' be Pip. We're hobbits!"  
  
Oi!" Pippin smiled offering his hand "Pleasure!"  
  
Mm..." Hermione nodded, her lips slightly curled, not seeming too impressed and not bothering to wonder what Boppits were.  
  
here's was a short, awkward silence (ya know how that is) as Pippin wiped his hands on his shirt and put them back in his pockets...  
  
So..." Merry started as if expecting them to say something.  
  
Oh!" Hermione caught on "So sorry! How foolish of me really! My name is Hermione, and this is Ron" she said pointing to the Flame headed boy "And that..." she said moving her finger upon Harry "Is Harry Potter"  
  
Pleasure" said Merry this time offering his hand  
  
arry was slightly surprised at the Hobbits modesty and warm welcome. No staring at him, eyes goggling with sheer madness, no whispers as he curled up inside of himself. It never occured to him that they never knew who he was  
  
Pleasure's all mine" Harry said happily shaking his hand back. Maybe this place wasn't so bad.  
  
fter getting caught up in all the introductions everyone had forgotten about the whole resolving thing. When Harry saw Gandalf pouting and remembered he was about to say something when all of a sudden an arrow shot skidding right through Ron's hair barely missing his head.  
  
THIRTY SIX!!!" a calm yet excited voice suddenly shouted. Hermione was dazed by it. Every note in every word made her invision a crystal waterfall not falling, but flying down, down, down until it hit the flawless stars.  
  
"What was it?" a hoarse and slightly unclear voice followed, breaking Hermione's daze.  
  
"Don't know for sure. Looked like maybe a mutilated shrew of some sort....possibly a dead eagle? Ugliest thing IVE ever seen!! Absolutely hideous, why I'd think it was better off dead anyways! " the voice ranted on  
  
Finally a tall man appeared. His blond-white hair smoothly held back so you could see his perfect face smothered in beauty. On his back was a small bag that seemed to be carrying arrows and a bow. Soon followed a man as short as a child, but looked like he had mearly finished taking a ride with the dinosaurs with his face covered in a brown stringy beard and long braded hair that covered his back.  
  
Ron still stood there in shock, the arrow tangled in his hair. When the tall man finally realized what had happened he kneeled generously.  
  
"My deepest apologies!" he stood up again "Gimli here and I were playing Count The Roadkill and I had mistaken your hair for an oversized rat with internal bleeding. Please, no hard feelings!"  
  
"How could you think his Hair was a RAT Legolas?" Gimli cried in astonishment "Why I could have sworn it was an Orcs head!" he groaned looking troubled "It doesn't count you know!"  
  
"Yes, yes of course!" Legoals laughed. He was about to introduce himself when he noticed Gandalf. "Gandalf! There you are! I...." he stopped and gave a loud shriek "Bloody murder it's you!!!" he shouted looking at dumbledore than back to Gandalf "And you!! TOGETHER!! Gimli Run!!!! (when they're dead I clame their bodies for roadkill)"  
  
"Not fair...." Gimli started deeply frustrated by his planning ahead  
  
"Hold on!" Hermione shouted as everyone froze.  
  
"NOBODY is going ANYWHERE!!! Now what is going on?! Dumbledore and Gandalf were just about to explain why they're so mad at each other"  
  
Legolas and Gimli looked at each other then the couch and sat down knowing this would take a while.  
  
"Well? Dumbledore? Gandolf??" Hermione insisted  
  
"Pippin!" Gandolf said sharply "Tell Dumble Dork that because he started it, I'm actually going to be nice and let him tell you!"  
  
Pippin began to open his mouth when Dumbledore interrupted "Well, HARRY!!!" DD retorted, crossing his arms and pouting looking up at the sky away from Gandolf "You can just tell Gandy the Dandy Candy that because he started it, he can tell everyone what he did!"  
  
"Oh Lord!" Merry groaned rubbing his eyes and joining Gimli and Legolas on the couch. "This could take a while!"  
  
PLEASE REVIEW!! IF YOU DONT I WILL GO ON A STRIKE AND WONT ADD ANYMORE!! AND TRUST ME IM ALREADY ON CHAPTER 9 SO THERE!!! 


	5. Charles have I love, Gandalf have I hate...

**Bye the way**: I am not J. K Rowling or TOlkein. I bow down to them and kiss their feet because i could never write or create chracters as well as them aka. Nothing in here you would recognize from Harry Potter or Lord Of THe Rings books are mine. That is all.  
  
**Chapter 6:  
**  
**Charles Have I Loved, Gandalf have I hated**  
  
Hermione flew her hand gripping tightly onto her wand into the air. She screamed a curse something like "Gammadecaiso!" and a large bomb went off in the air. (What they didn't know was that the debree coincidently all landed on the Morder and destroyed Sauron) "ENOUGH!!! Dumbledore, go sit by that tree! You will keep your mouth shut until your spoken to!" (sound familiar?) "Gandolf, you sit on the couch next to Ron and Harry and Legolas.."  
  
"Oh! Why does he get the couch?!" Dumbledore whined. Hermione just shot him a look that could not only kill but probably drop an atomic bomb out of....umm...nowhere cough Well, the point is it made her look evil and DD shut up okay?  
  
"Gimli, find a seat, as for the rest of you, do what you will as long as it isn't murder" (oi, this is a lot of characters to keep track of!)   
  
"Now, Gandolf first. " Gandolf wore a smug face (as smug as ugly can get) and stuck out his tongue at DD. "Well. Ahem, firstly may I please stand up, I look and sound much wiser when I am taller and older than everyone." He asked politely to Hermione.  
  
"Of course..." Hermione answered  
  
"Thank You. Now, it all started back when I was...rr...younger. You see, Dumbledork"  
  
"Hey!!" Dumbledore yelled defiantly looking at Hermione for justice.  
  
"GANDOLF!!!" Hermione said firmly  
  
"Okay, okay, Sorry. Habbit. You see DumbleDore and I were supposively best friends. Until he got a duck...Carle" he said Carle in a more fowl tone.  
  
"You mean you knew how Rubber Ducks worked the whole time?!" Ron interrupted shocked towards Dumbledore.  
  
"Yes. My duck kept me company while I took baths. I took him everywhere!"  
  
"You mean they're used to take baths?!"   
  
"No I took Charles..." he emphasized Charles as to correct Gandolf "...other places!"  
  
"A gay duck?" Ron asked wrinkling his nose a little  
  
"He's not gay!" Dumbledore retorded in defense  
  
"No he only floats in a bathtub with another wizard!!" Ron mumbled not bothering to keep his voice down  
  
Dumbledore huffed and looked out the corner out of his eye. This obviously stumped him so he just defended himself with "Don't make fun of Charles!!!! It's not like he STARED at me while I was bathing"  
  
"HE'S PLASTIC FOR PLANET'S SAKE!!!" Merry finally screamed  
  
Ron, Gandolf, and Dumbledore froze in disguist at this. Dumbledore gasped and made a choking noise. "DONT CALL MY POOKY PLASTIC!!!"! he screamed charging for Merry  
  
"Oh lord" Legolas rolled his eyes and slapped his forehead. (Notice this seems to happen a lot...hmm looks around) He stuck his foot out making Dumbledore fall flat on his face and skid (suprisingly) far across the dirt until suddenly he was stopped by a blinding object. All Dumbledore could make out was his medium sized yellow feet, so ugly and bright (of course not as much as ron's hair) that it was like looking at the sun but since DD was so old and practically blind it didn't really make a difference. But WHO was it? Dumbledore suddenly picked up an "electric" vibe of evil. Who..more like WHAT was this mysterious creature??  
  
Find out....SOOON....maybe 

Oh lord, one of my favorite chapters. Lots of fun to write. Hope you enjoyed and don't forget to spread the word ;) Oh and a special lovey dovey thank you to all my beautiful reviewers. I did this without you!  
  
ooh! Boogy boogy boogy. Who is this creature? WHAT is this creature? You'll want to find out in... (TV VOICE) THE NEXT CHAPTER!!!


	6. Really Bright Ugly Dudes!

TV VOICE Previously on The Gang Meets Lord Of The Rings: Dumbeldore runs into a yellow thing. What is it? WHO is it? Find out...on the next line!!!!

-----------------  
Mysterious Ugly Bright Guys!  
-----------------

Dumbeldore's face skidded across the dirt making him prettier than usual. He backed away quickly in fear, but mostly because they powerful ugliness of the yellow was blinding DD more than he already was (which is saying something). Legolas, Brave, Bold and incredibly hot with clean hair stepped towards the anonymous creature.  
  
"Salutations. My name is Legolas and I am incredibly hot. Who are you?"  
  
"What are you?" Hermione snarled wrinkling her nose before Harry nudged her. (Apparently a little too hard because she tackled him to the ground. She rolled him onto his stomach and sat there grabbing his hair and grinding his face into the dirt here and there)  
  
But anyways....The mysterious figured slowly began to grin evily. He slowly took one step forward, his skin like sunlight that burned. He began to open his mouth wider and wider until finally he spoke slowly  
  
"Pi-  
  
Ka-  
  
CHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Followed by a "MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!"  
  
Everyone gasped in Horror! "No!!!" Herminone screamed along with everyone else, lifting Harry's head so he could too. After a couple of minutes though, they became quite breathless and finally stopped when they noticed this mysterious Pikachu wasn't laughing evily anymore either.  
  
"But who are you?" Pippin asked again.  
  
Pikachu groaned and stopped smiling. "Millions of viewers my butt!" he groaned in a high chipmunk sounding voice to himself. He switched back to his "evil" voice (as evil as chipmunks, and cat's get) and began to speak:  
"I am PIKACHU!"  
  
"You said that already!" Ron yelled!  
  
"WOULD YOU LET ME FINISH?!?!?!" Pikachu retorted. When Ron didn't answer it continued. "Many of you have probably heard of Voldemort" he started pacing with his hands behind his back. "You see, my show basically sucked vaccuum cleaners and I needed a new job. THAT is when I met Voledmort. Great man, he is. Now, Voldemort's obsession with Lightning bolts grew against him. After years and years of defeat he could handle it no longer. So he packed his bags, wig, toothbrush, eyeliner...ahem. Well, we ran into each other at the retirement agency. When I told him that I MADE LIGHTNING BOLTS!!" (he said this with much pleasure) "He realized I was PERFECT!! ME! YES I HAVE A PURPOSE!! You see Harry? You've net your match! The question is, what happens when you match up Lightning against Lightning?!?!!?! MUAHA...MUAHA..MUAHAHAHaHHHAahaHahaha....AHH!" before Pikachu could finish his ranting and raving mad laughter when a rock hit him in the head and he blacked out.  
  
Hermione, Harry, Ron, Legolas, Gimli (this could take a while) Pippin, Merry, Dumbledore and Gandalf stood there for a moment looking blankly at the ball of sunshine laying on the ground unconscious...  
  
"Nice shot" Pippin credited Merry.  
  
"Oh yeah!" Harry patted him on the back.  
  
Gandalf walked over and looked down at Pikachu.  
"This could be a problem." he said in his usual crackly old phart voice.  
  
"Wattaya talkin bout'?!" Gimli chuckled "You saw what that bloody rock did! Throw him in a river and be done wit em'!"  
  
"Haven't any of you watched Pokemon?! PIKACHU ALWAYS WINS!! He's like Britney Spears...he JUST DOESNT DIE!!! This isn't going to be easy you know!"  
  
"To Morder with Britney Spears!!! My hair is MUCH PRETTIER!!! EAT MY HERBAL ESSENCES!!!" Legolas lost control as he started to scream at the sky.  
  
"Come now Legolas. We know your Herbal Essences is prettier then Garnier Fructis" Gimli lied "But Gandalf has a point. With Pikachu replacing Harry he is in much more danger!!! We must split up and protect him!"  
  
--------------------------------

Split Up? No!!! That would only make it easier for me to write!! What will happen?! Will they split up?!! Find out in:  
THE NEXT CHAPTER!!!!  
  
Sorry it's been taking so long to update! I am figruing out the next parts now and school just started back up so i've ben really bleh...and lazy. I'll do my best, just give me a reason to. ;)


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